December is a tough time for me. I find myself wishing the
inpatient wards would be emptying and we would have successive nights without a
patient needing to be urgently admitted. I fantasize that my patients, and
those being treated for cancer by my colleagues, will have a respite, to go
home, be with family, open presents, and a good holiday meal. Sadly, this is
never the case. Patients will be diagnosed during the holiday season, some will
require surgery, others will continue on chemotherapy. Some will receive good
news that their cancer has responded, or that they are in remission. Others
will be told that their cancer has progressed or that treatment has not worked
or that they are dying. The wheels of medicine will continue to turn and we, as
oncologists, will continue to care for our patients.
Despite these circumstances, Judy looked well. She engaged
with me easily and we talked about her—her work, her husband and children, her
hobbies. She smiled as she showed my pictures of her grandchildren. After just
30 minutes I felt I knew her.
“Well, doc,” she said. “Is there anything you can think of?
I mean, I know I’ll die of this cancer eventually, but I have a lot of living
left to do.”
We discussed options on and off of a clinical trial and we
settled on one trial of immunotherapy.
“It’s a phase I trial, but this drug is promising,
particularly in your tumor because it is associated with something called
microsatellite instability. These drugs have shown activity in other hard-to-treat
cancers, including melanoma and renal cell carcinoma.” I gave her the informed
consent and suggested she take it home, but she insisted on reviewing it right
there.
“I want to leave here with a plan—trial or no trial.”
After some time, and many questions, she agreed to
participate in the trial, and a few weeks after this visit, she started
treatment. Although she experienced toxicities when we first started treatment,
it seemed to be easier to tolerate with time. Indeed, at our first response
evaluation, she had achieved disease stability. “It stopped growing,” I told
her. She was so relieved that she started to cry.
“After everything I’ve been through, I’ve learned to assume
the worst news. I mean, nothing seemed to stop this cancer from growing. Until
now.”
“Well, let’s see what we can do—who knows, it might shrink
yet,” I said at the time.
Further treatment followed, but during this time, I had
decided to leave my institution. Informing my patients I would be leaving
proved to be a difficult task in general, but with Judy, I felt particularly
heartsick. I had gotten to know her and her husband well, learning about her as
a person, and how they had met. Over time, our conversations would often veer
towards the social rather than strictly medical. She would ask about me and my family and I
would do the same. Knowing this was coming to an end left me particularly sad.
“Whatever happens, Judy, thank you for letting me in to your
life, for letting me be your oncologist. It’s been such a huge honor, and
you’ve made me a better oncologist. I know I will leave you in very good hands,
so do not worry about that. But please also know, you will not be forgotten.”
“Thank you, Dr. Dizon. I can’t believe you are leaving, but
do what you must. Life is too short. I will miss you very much.”
My first Christmas at my new institution was quiet—I had not
yet built a busy practice so had time to work on academic pursuits. One day, I
got a letter in the mail. I read the return address—it was from Judy. In it,
she wished me Happy Holidays and hoped that I was happy. She told me of her
family and I was happy to read everyone was well.
“I wanted to share the news of my cancer,” Judy continued.
“It has now shrunk over 60%, and for the first time, I know what it feels like
to hear that your tumor is responding. I owe it all to you, Dr. Dizon. You
found this trial for me, and you didn’t give up on me. Thank you for giving me
more time.”
As I read the letter, I smiled as I read how much she had
benefited as part of a phase I trial. It made me realize that miracles do
indeed come true, and as the New Year comes upon us, my wish: That more
miracles are on the horizon, and that more patients benefit from the era of
Precision Medicine.
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